My lessons learnt from the 2 days spent together at the Peak Spicers Lodge in Queensland:
1. Networks sound as though they are time-consuming and they do take enormous effort. They are worth every cent! Investing that time and money in to a network that is open, supportive and from a diverse range of industries is just a huge opportunity to refresh, re-energise and reframe some of your thinking. It gives you the self-confidence to go forward and to explore different ways of approaching challenges.
One of the key comments that was made by the incoming CEO of IBM, Virginia M Rometty, was that she often lacked self-confidence. Once in her career, she was asked by a recruiter if she would like to go for a big job and she responded by saying that she needed time to think it over. Her husband questioned her and asked whether a man would have responded like that! She says,"“What it taught me was you have to be very confident, even though you’re so self-critical inside about what it is you may or may not know.”
Being part of a network provides you with the support and the strength to grow in confidence and to look in the mirror in a less critical way. This board of advisors also ensures that you hold each other accountable and that actions that are committed to, are indeed taken.
2. If you want to move ahead, you need to ensure that your value is visible. You have to be able to assertively state what it is that you say and do.
In her story of her life, Lady Gaga also speaks about how she needed the self-belief to take the next step up and how through promoting her brand she was noticed. In the initial stages of her career, Lady Gaga was asked to be the replacement for a singer and she immediately accepted. She identifies that moment as the critical turning point in her career.
But to be called on, she had to have been noticed and this is where personal branding is so important.
She is now the embodiment of what personal branding can achieve!
3. Thinking and decision making emerged as such critical components of the leadership function. It is really up to us to find that time to think and also to think in a structured way.
Books that were recommended for this purpose:
- http://www.howardgardner.com/books/books.html - Howard Gardner's 'Five Minds for the Future'
- Jonah Lehrer - How we decide.
Gardner also demands that we use the respectful mind. In a globalized world with different ethnic backgrounds, we have to be very open to the thinking about the other disciplines. We also need the ethical mind. So much more accountability is demanded today. Boards are being filmed so that they receive feedback on how they handle issues.
We are reminded by Lehrer that our emotional brian needs credit as well as the experience side of our life. We need to include instinct to guide good decision making because it is the accumulation of your life experience.
Key question - What gifts do I have so that I can nurture them to be come the best I can be?
4. Women leaders need to improve their negotiating skills. We negotiate on a range of topics every day.
Recommended reading - Prof Daniel Shapiro - Beyond Reason.http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Reason-Using-Emotions-Negotiate/dp/0143037781/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1320026062&sr=1-1
It is really important, particularly as women leaders, to strengthen your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) as this makes you stronger in the negotiation space. It also weakens the other person's BATNA. Having no alternatives weakens you when negotiating. So - understand your own interests really well and know what you can give away and what you can't.
Be very aware of your emotions during a negotiation - because so many emotions surface. Appreciate and value the other person and where they are at. Research at Harvard showed that they could predict which marriages and relationships would last based on whether couples showed appreciation. Just the nodding and the umm, and ah-ha's make all the difference. Look at where you don't feel appreciated and what that triggers in your attitude.